In honors in Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother’s fashion. I grew up as a 90s kid surrounded by the neon flash and bold prints of clothes only children could wear; my mom, in comparison, wore very subdued, neutral clothing. Her style still remains very much the same today: a splash of color here, a higher heel there–but very much separated from other mothers. As a child, I (understandably) couldn’t comprehend why my mother didn’t look like other mothers, like the ones who picked up my friends from day care wearing brands I couldn’t pronounce. With time, I came to understand the larger factors surrounding my mother’s life that prevented her from wearing the “flossy flossy”: money was always tight, hours were long and trends eluded her. As a long time immigrant, my mother never really paid attention to the newest and the brightest. She tolerated my (short lived) love for trends with the patient suffering of any mother, but chose along to her personal tastes when she shopped for herself, which was once a year. Most of her clothes were functional: able to last for months on end, not susceptible to rips or tears, overwhelmingly cheap (so she could get multiples if needed) and able to allow her movement (for running after children, cooking, and cleaning.)
Functionality is a huge part of “mommy fashion,” which seems to be a growing trend for “every day moms” everywhere. I realize now that my mother was not only thinking with her wallet, she was thinking with her “motherly instincts.” What allows mothers to move, work, perform to the best of her abilities and look “fly?” Mommy fashion, at its core, takes in all of these factors; it not only asks whether functionality can work, it requires it.
The trend here is clear: hundreds of “mommy fashion blogs” purport what I call the “3 F’s”: family, fashion and fun. Many of blogs differ by content, blog direction and blog focus for plenty of reasons, the more notable being social class and race (more on that later.) Some mothers are focused on providing shopping tips; others, discounts–but overall, the focus is providing an easier time for mothers everywhere, whether it be by the wallet or in every day activities.
There are many factors that play into mommy fashion blogger as a trend: social norms of mothering, the rise and spread of the Internet, generational gaps and adaption to those changes, the social composition/social face of motherhood changing. Mommy fashion blogging itself is partially birthed of the “confusion” about what it means to be a mother; so many of these ideas about this in particular have changed over the years, especially due to the Internet. “Motherhood” and its conventions, standards and ideas have been changed through the Internet: a recipe here, a tip there and an easier, faster access to global standards have people thinking differently about being a mother.
More specifically, such changes have people thinking differently about what a mother looks like. Does she still wear dresses or is she more functional in a pantsuit? Does she eschew color or wholeheartedly embrace it? Is she allowed femininity? Does she embrace technology, motherhood and all of its exports, and fashion?
More importantly, what does she look like? “Mommy fashion blogging” is a relatively new trend, born of the age of the Internet but not incredibly varying in its supporters. A very good example of this lies in Circle of Moms’ “Top 25 Moms of Style” list, which was curated by the votes of their readers. Many of the accredited, popular or prolific mommy fashion bloggers in the 25 appear to be white or Asian, middle to upper class, living in major metropolitan areas (Los Angeles, New York, Miami) and speak often of their brands of choice (Gucci, Prada, Fendi) which seem to be of a higher “standard.” There are always intersections of course: some mommies delve into fatshion, shop at less expensive stores and sometimes speak candidly about money. But the question remains: where are the Black mothers? Where at the Latina mothers? Where are the mothers with a low-income background? Where are the queer mothers? Where are the intersections?
I won’t pretend that mommy fashion blogging is an easy game to get into according to technicalities: not everyone has access to Internet or the time and money it takes to shop, review and immerse themselves in fashion. Mommy fashion blogging still adheres to the fashion blogging world in some aspect, the main one being that you have to be able to shop. Still, I feel uncomfortable in assuming those are the only reasons why Black, Latina, Queer, etc mothers are poorly represented in the mommy fashion blogging world. As a Black woman, I know that Black women do engage with modern/contemporary styles of dress that, honestly, don’t seem to be much different than that of other mommy fashion bloggers. I also know that women of color are engaged in fashion blogging; I have seen countless other young and old Black women blog about fashion, natural hair and other aspects of beauty esoteric to the Black woman; so what exactly gives?
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